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Accident Blackspot
Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness.

Hello! This is D's LJ. If you're looking for something, my journal tags are more of less comprehensive. If all else fails, there are other bits I've included in my profile page, such as links to my accounts in other sites.

We might know each other from those other sites or another incarnation or (horror of horrors) real life. If so, please leave a comment here and we can catch up! I don't go for the 'add me and I'll add you back' policy, but if you want me to friend you, don't hesitate to ask! All comments are screened.

Links to Fan art I did for fests etc.Collapse )

Have a lovely day, lovelies!

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art credit: epithalamium
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Sign ups are open Jan. 27th - Feb. 2nd.
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I'm planning on doing this with nerak_rose and dustmouth but people can join more than one team, it seems like, so I'm looking at you dogsunderfoot (if you wanna work with me again, even though I'm generally bad with deadlines aaaah)!


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actually got to finish my 50-book challenge over at goodreads! i still have a bunch of books in my to-read list, but first i have to go and buy them. which is probably gonna take a while because i promised myself no online purchases until i've paid off my credit card debts.

tumblr and karen made me check out this series called 'the raven cycle', which is about blue sargent and a bunch of boys who are looking for glendower. i don't give two pins for glendower tbh, but the novels are pretty good and the characters are so real for me. i care about them a lot. especially president cellphone.
look at this pretty art that i think the author, maggie stiefvater drew (she's also an artist and a musician):

in other (sort of related?) news, i tried doing a tarot reading for myself over new year's eve--i'm pretty bad at tarot but i find it helps me a lot with keeping my thoughts organised so i do a reading for myself once in a while. the cards were pretty bad. even my brother, who's just as new to tarot as i am, made sympathetic noises when he saw my spread. whelp.

whatevs. i can do this.

i hope 2016 treats you well, guys!

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I didn't know Small Gifts and Mini Fest have started posting! I'm so out of the loop and generally not myself. orz

Things been pretty busy at work, which is not surprising since there are only four producers left in the department. We're working with less than half the people now and the workload hasn't really changed much. We're sucking it up and I'm glad that everyone's working together like a team, buy yeah. It's still super busy.

Feeling rather mediocre and useless right now, but trying to rally. I've accepted long ago that I'm really a mediocre piece of rubbish, but that doesn't mean I have to be like that forever so I'm trying really hard to improve. But I guess there are times when I do want some sort of acknowledgement? Idk.


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So you know that feeling when you've read so many YA novels with love triangles in them that you just, 'Meh, I like this other guy, but this guy is obviously the one the main character will pick'?

I'm having that sort of moment with Gail Carriger's Manners & Mutiny. AND don't get me wrong, I agree that Soap is a better choice for Sophronia. He might not be a peer of the realm or anything like that, but he's a gentleman all the same. He respects her as a person. He understands her quirks. And I'm actually tickled pink that Gail Carriger has a black leading man. In Victorian-era London! I've been telling myself all this and more, but I still can't let go of Felix Mersey. Because he's pretty. And witty. And reminds me of Draco Malfoy.

I was thinking about this, and I realised that Rainbow Rowell (Ha! Did you see that coming from a mile off? Of course you did. I've been singing praises to this author for a long time now) turned the love triangle trope upside down by having the girl go, 'Fuck this, I'm out' and having a life she CHOSE of and on her own. Leaving behind the guy who's interesting but bad news for her and the guy who's slightly less interesting but obviously good for her (he's not) behind.

And then bad news guy and good-for-you guy end up together, confusing everyone.


In other news, Lani gave me a copy of The Song of Achilles, which they'd been raving about for a while now. I haven't read a single Mary Renault book (so hard to catch a copy in the shops, and they're not cheap either), but Lani swears Madeline Miller kinda writes like her. And I'm more than halfway finished. Enough that Thetis is going, 'The best of the Myrmidons will die before two more years have passed.' Achilles assumes this meant him, but Thetis says the prophecy says he's still alive at this point.

And I was reading this in a diner, right, thinking more about breakfast than vague Greek prophesies when I realised that they were almost eight years into the Trojan War already and the time was nearing when Achilles has to die. But before that, Patroclus has to meet Hector in the battlefield first. So I gasped and felt bad, and I've been told it sort of ends well, but. Still.

Remember the time my English lit professor scolded me and went on and on about how ancient Greeks were a 'homosocial society' because I dared say Achilles and Patroclus were lovers? Yeah.


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Got some head start with my Airmen illustrations, but now I'm kinda stuck with Balfour's quote. I honestly don't remember him saying anything relating to his former job. Guess I'd have to hit the books again.

Some blood under the cutCollapse )

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I didn't make the cut for the 999 fanzine, like I expected. I've been waiting for that e-mail telling me that 'they regret to inform me that I have not been selected for this project'. Can't say I'm not disappointed and hurt by this. Whatever, I'm not really good enough anyway.

Sort of grateful that I have so much projects for work that I honestly can't sit down and think about it too much.

I do sort of want to stop existing for a while, though. The skies are so blue outside and the almost no clouds at all. The winds are cold but the sun is warm and shining bright. I feel seconds minutes hours of my life passing me by and there won't be any days like this, there will never be days like this, all the things I've been ignoring because I'm late for work, or because it's too late at night to think about anything but sleep or forgetting my life. I feel so fucking sad and scared and trapped.

But smile and carry on. Because I need money and money can't be had if I don't work.


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I feel dead inside so have some fun recs that got me out of my funk!

It's not me, it's you (I'm in love) from hp_nextgen_fest (Teddy/James. With James/OC and past!Teddy/Victoire.) James is stupidly, madly in love. Teddy is looking for love in the wrong places.

This fic is fairly short (only 4k words) but it has art with it (with nice hair) and gives us a hilarious and accurate description of what's it like to be in love with someone oblivious to the fact. Actually, if not for the tongue-in-cheek narrative, it would have been easy to make this a longing angstfest, but I'm glad the writer went for hilarious instead. James makes me laugh so much, butter on his hair and conversations with his friend Nick and all. Actually, Nick is also a favourite. What a charming arsehole.

no longer easy on the eyes (Team Moon/R for profanity and substance abuse) Sirius comes back from the past with a teenage Harry in tow, and Teddy is trying to save the world. Remus just wants peace.

If you thought that this was going to be an angsfest (like I did) because it warned for HIV/AIDS, rest assured: it's not. It's thoughtful and heartbreaking, but at the same time so very FEEL GOOD. I cried, sure, but only because Remus and Teddy were going through a whole lot but they obviously love each other a lot and have a really good father-son rapport between them. Sirius (who'd never been in a relationship in his life, bless his soul) is also rather cute here. Especially when being asked for love advice by Harry, who's trying to make his relationship with Draco work--while still being very much in love with Ginny. It's nice. All the characters have their own cute quirks and are sympathetic. It's actually more fluff and domestic than anything else.

Stella Pulverem (Team Moon/PG) An amateur astronomer, Remus Lupin, discovers that stars are not just big balls of gas floating in space. Thanks to a strange, glowing man who claims to be Sirius, the actual star, he discovers stars are bored, nosy, and very interesting individuals.

So a lot of fics and art went quite literal on Sirius being a star and I love it! This has to be one of my favourite of the star fics so far. Sirius is really such an adorable little thing here, and him shaking up Remus's quiet life is really quite a thing I loved to read. (They're both so funny, omg.) Also, I have this sort of love/hate thing for stars (and space, in general) because it's so fascinating on one hand and actually terrifyingly VAST on the other, but this fic plays on that quite nicely. The first paragraph in particular is brilliantly visual.

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Things I need to do, because god knows I need a list or I'll just panic and not do anything.

  • Draw a bunch of Airmen (may need to cut out next gen kids, unless I have lots of time) for Danielle Bennett. Need to finish before December. High Priority, because I need to print this out as well.

  • Draw Draco/Harry for mini_fest. High priority as well, because deadline is 20 November. Not as much of a hassle as above, because this is just two people. Hopefully. Done!

  • Help out with ZEcret Santa fest over at tumblr. Not really a matter of high/low priority, since this is always happening. Will also sign up for this if they'll allow mods to participate. I miss LJ fests. They're nice and easy to moderate. Tumblr fests are so weird.

  • Help out with rs_collab. Whatever needs helping with.

  • Draw Akane for request meme. Easy. Low priority.

  • Finish chapter 4 of my Tenmyouji/Santa fic. No one will care aside from me, but I want to churn this out before ZE3 comes out. And ruins all my hopes and dreams about Tenmyouji's damned photo.

  • I have this idea for a Souji/Yosuke fic. 'He was beautiful.' Something like that. Not quite what I was expecting to write, but good enough.


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Today was pretty meh. Menstrual cramps, no appetite. Was also late for work because traffic was shit. But I was expecting that since All Saint's Day on Sunday. (No, we don't do Hallowe'en. And yes, we do spend a day sweating and making candle wax balls in the fucking cemetery in honour of our dead loved ones. Sometimes people even pray. I've seen it once or twice.) Should probably get something to eat before going home.

Tumblr tracked tags working wonkily. This depresses me. Also no reply bubble to posts. It's going the same way LJ did when people started moving to DW. That makes me feel old. Posted fanart that got thoroughly ignored (was expecting that bit, I've gotten used to being ignored). Have got a couple recs from RS Games that I might post sometime. Was also supposed to post about something but I forgot what it was. Musn't be too important.


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Okay, just a couple this time, but more from Team Moon. There's another Team Moon fic I'm eyeing, especially since it has the same prompt as I picked (and which I pretty much ignored, I'm sorry guys). Maybe later tonight, after I've caught up with the new Haikyuu!!

Night Dogs (Team Moon/G) Sirius considers himself practically elderly at 35, Remus manages to scare up some adventure for his birthday, anyway.

Heehee, I'm 27 which is not OLD by any definition, but damn do me and my roommate have the same conversations as Sirius and Remus in this fic sometimes. (35 is not old either, tbh, Sirius you drama queen.) Really cute bits with McGonagall here (I love it when dear ol' Minerva makes it into Marauder fic. She's the best), but best of all, growing old together is something we never really see in canon and I totes love it in fic.

To Keep a Star (Team Moon/PG) Daily life in the employ of the intergalactic postal service.

I've been waiting for this since the Games started. This was everything I could ever hope for, ever since the artist mentioned doing sci-fi, and then some. It's like a Kelly Link story, but imho, better. The pacing, the composition, the way the words and the art complement each other, everything about this is perfect. Their uniforms are also perfect. Don't take my word for it: go see it for yourself.

They Call It Black Fire (Team Moon/PG-13) "The car is travelling west. There's dust packed in the grooves of its tyres. The road is an endless, undulating line and the sky arches blue over both horizons. Remus pushes the pedal to 150 and turns up the radio." An ode to the Australian opal fields.

The writer says an 'ode to Australian opal fields' and yes, that would be accurate. I honestly don't know much about Australia, but this fic painted a very nice picture of it in my mind. There is love for location and setting and history here, and that sort of feeling always draws a person to subject matter--no matter how little we know about it in the first place. Photos come along with the fic and helps with the visuals. But also! The language is very nice and flows beautifully.

Together We Fought (Team Star/G) This is an AU song I wrote and my drawing of Sirius to go along with it. The story is Remus & Sirius, but Sirius has run away from his awful family, stealing his lovely horse, Sarah, from the many his rich family owns. He fancies himself a cowboy begins his life as a new person. He grabs work where he can, and sleeps under the stars, waiting for the moon, its presence peaceful and calming. It warms him. He runs into Remus while applying as a delivery boy. They're put together, each sharing the wage. They clash at first, but realize how much they need each other. Remus is quiet, but smart. He's never been the kind to have friends, he was home schooled by his mother, his father long gone. He left alone when his mother died too. Sirius was tough, he liked being alone – until he met Remus and realized how very much alone he actually is. The moon and stars are important, for without them, there would be no tomorrow. Life is hard, but they'll fight for it nevertheless - together.
This song is their story.

I think this is the very first song ever to be submitted for the Games, and it's so good! I love the tender melody, and the singer's voice is nice and strong. And the art is a perfect accompaniment to it. I'm a big fan of experimenting with different kinds of medium for fanworks and I love this!


In other news, I picked up a new book by Scarlett Thomas today. Let's see how it goes. I've never been disappointed with Scarlett Thomas yet, so I trust her on this one.

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A couple months (a year?) ago, I read my first Rainbow Rowell novel. This was Fangirl, because I was probably feeling sad (I'd never read this type of novels unless I'm really not myself) and wanted some nostalgic HP fandom feelings. The blurb for Fangirl made me wonder if it's gonna be one of those 'giving up fandom for the sake of growing up' kind of thing, but I guess I under-estimated the author. I really liked Fangirl. It's cute, it's representative of what happens in fandom--especially a big one a la Harry Potter--and aside from everything else, we have a character who is unapologetically dorky. With anxiety and possibly obsessive-compulsive tendencies. This wasn't the 'dork to normal transformation' novel I feared it would be, but a tender little story about a girl trying to live her life while also writing slash fic.

But that's not really what I wanted to talk about. This is what I wanted to talk about:

Simon Snow. The fictional fandom Cath was writing for in Fangirl. It's loosely based on the HP books, in that the Simon Snow series is a kid's book but also with a huge adult following. We also have rivals like Harry and Draco. And also a Dumbledore figure kind of character. I've always been amazed at how Rainbow Rowell even bothered to world-build for a completely different fantasy story while writing Fangirl and I'm glad we now have an actual Simon Snow novel and see more of that world.

The magic system is amazing. The spells are those words that get stuck in your head (poetry, old proverbs, nursery rhymes, novelty songs, ad jingles--anything!): and they have power as long as normal people (non-wizards) don't get tired of saying them.

But also, what really sold me about this book is that, well. I guess I really like Simon Snow. I like the different POVs because we see Simon from another character's perspective. I love seeing this 'Chosen One' cliche character NOT be the hero of his own narrative. And I'm not even talking about 'he has his friends' etc. Simon Snow does have his friends (and he practically caves to everything Penelope Bunce wants: if anyone's a hero, it's definitely Penelope). Simon has this self-awareness that I really like, it's almost fatalistic, how he deals with things.

While talking about thinking too much with his roommate and nemesis, Baz Grimm-Pitch, Simon says:

'In a way I just do what's expected of me. [...] And someday, something will catch me unawares or be too big to fight, but I'll fight anyway. [...] what is there to think about?'

Idk. I like how Simon thinks. He's cute.

/This has been a protag appreciation post.

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Yes I'm still not caught up! Someday.

Let's start with the art entries first:

Ephemera (Team Moon/G) Twenty-five years of quiet rivalry and betrayal and in the end, it was just two boys by a lake.

I've mentioned to nerak_rose that I love art that tells stories--not only comics, but also illustrations with so many details to be uncovered and so many meanings to be derived. 'Ephemera' is a very good example of art that tells stories. A whole lot of stories, some of them quite heartbreaking.

Nostalgia (Team Star/G) Sirius reminiscing about the past during his time in Azkaban.

I have to admit that I didn't read the summary before looking at this, and that's why the last panel broke my heart so much. But there's more to this than heartbreak and longing, I think. The colours are soothing and beautiful, and I think Sirius also got a lot of comfort from his memories aside from regrets.

And suddenly I'm not so young (Team Moon/R) Just bits and pieces – glimpses from a life.

Okay, this was lovely! The textures, the words, the art itself: it's all very decadent and like drinking very good very expensive black coffee. It also gives us one of the most perfect representations of Remus ever. And also, there are some beautiful hands. God. I love beautiful hands.

Constellation Consternation (Team Star/PG-13) Moony wants a lie-in, Sirius is a menace, and Remus’ freckles give a whole new meaning to the term 'celestial body'.

If you haven't guessed from the beautifully alliterative title, this one is funny, sweet, and very witty. I loved the exchange between the boys. They're so comfortable with each other and something I definitely miss from the R/S fandom. (Not that people stopped writing/drawing comfortable R/S. What I mean is that I haven't looked at or read R/S anything in ages.)

And for a couple of fics:

Moon Dog (Team Star/PG) Once upon a time a bored star in the sky heard music and came to Earth to meet the beautiful musician; or How the star Sirius became a binary.

Okay, this fic got me from the very first line and never let go. Erudite, sweet, and very very lyrical. This is what I love in fics, omg. Totally fits that Remus is a musician. The writer also knows what words sound like, and it informs their writing so well.

Canis Major, or the Babysitting Story (Team Star/G) Sirius talks about stars, war, and love, and none of it makes much sense. Good thing his only audience is a baby.

I was NOT expecting this! The fic is whimsical, almost, the tone that of a bedtime story. But the ending (which I totally did not expect, but the pacing was perfect and in retrospect it makes so much sense?) made me shiver pleasurably. Very nice!

Eta: Yes I am in fact from Team Moon. Why do I keep reccing the other team's work. :P

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Was re-reading an old fic of mine last night--really old fic, not badly told but so very unpleasant and sexist--when I noticed that I was having a hard time because I kept seeing an L-shaped 'glitch' in front of my eyes. Several moments of closing and opening eyes and realising 'glitch' was still there, I sighed, turned my laptop off, and waited for the joys of migraine.

I haven't had migraine since high school--the first time I had an ocular migraine, convinced I was going blind because I lost my peripheral vision, the rest of the time I just had the regular one with fancy lights. It's been long enough that I've forgotten how unpleasant it was. How jolly. I still feel like shit today.

I wish all the video games I'm waiting for comes out soon so I can just wish for death like I usually do with a clear conscience. :P


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Art by shadowycat <3

I might not be able to do small gifts this year because of r/s collab, but I'm definitely going to do mini fest! They're also in need of more people, so in case anyone's interested?

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